Days of Freedom Past

A couple of months ago IGN ran a story about the Freedom Force franchise and included a lot of concept drawings for a 70's and possibly 90' version of the team. While the stereotypes and comic homages were plenty, most of the redesigns completely missed the mark. I pondered why changes were made to the cast - giving Microwave the Million-Dollar Man's face, casting Evel Knievel as the Bullet, and making Liberty Lad a dapper dandy - when it hit.

Irrational just dumped me and Freedom Force is dead.

Certainly this wasn't to inspire fans to go and download the first two installments on Steam. We already have a copy of the game, if not two! They showed us these images to let us down easy -

"Look Freedom Force fans, there is a really cool idea for a moody FPS we want to make but it requires a next-gen engine and frankly we are tired of the useless flaming Spaniard . Here are bunch of pretty pictures, don't be mad at us."

I resent Irrational Games for showing me these images and ignoring it's large and rather faithful fanbase. How dare they dump us for a plot-driven FPS games where the main antagonists have an unusually close relationship with strung-out little girls. A game so deep with character development and plot it makes all other FPS look like Duckhunt. Don't act dumb, you know what game I am referring. You are probably anticipating the sequal right now!

It would be interesting to see if a third installment of Freedom Force had a chance though. If the sales of Freedom Force on Steam were significant enough maybe they would reconsider but that is highly unlikely. They will never run back to us and say how faithful we were, how much they missed us ignoring Marvel's demands, and that Bio-Shock was for man-children who live in their parents' basement.

So I guess that leaves the development of a new Freedom Force game in the community's greasy palms. We have the talent. We have the passion. We just do not have the drive. We are too concerned with the latest comic characters or making full conversion mods that are never released. Could you imagine the exposure the community would get if we created a sequal based on these pictures? Game companies eat amateur game developers up. Who knows maybe a few of you Bio-Shock playing man-children can secure employment and finally move out of your mum's basement.

Truly, that would be nice.

- Spectre Lad

Shadow of Doubt

While browsing for Freedom Force hentai I came across what I can only assume it a concept drawing of the Freedom Force nemesis and insectaphile, Shadow. If you knew me, you would know I like whore goblins and of all the Freedom Force females, Shadow was the biggest whore goblin. Queen of the whore goblins even. So I was sorely disappointed to see this pornstar, nie, film actress turned psychotic female -not that there are any sane females unless you count the ones with penises which I do- could have been scantily clad, I was hurt.

While the lack of covering excites me, my favorite element in the design is the purse. Hat off to Copy Kirby for his forward thinking about women. Shadow having a purse lets us know she is not only a woman but a well prepared one. She always has lip gloss, tampons, and condoms - lots of them. Shadow was obviously having sexual relations with every single one of those mutant nigras. Like any self-disrespecting whore goblin "she aint want no kids". Though there is nothing scarier than a purse full of nappies and half-mutant nigra children.

Seeing this previous design just confuses me when you compare it to her finalized look. Shadow is the sort of villainess that would suck larva out of your egg sack before she beat you an inch of your life, yet she is covered head to toe in her final design. That makes her character completely unbelievable to me. No whore goblins I know dress this way. In fact the only women I know who dress in this manner are nuns and big, butch lesbians. So she better start munching on pink tacos while praising the Almighty or GTFO.


You know what? She had terrible taste in men too. The Ant is the prime example of that. He is obviously a homosexual. He wears tight fitting red leather, fan of older film actresses, and has no interest in getting a "Rusty Barnacle" from Sea Urchin. Scar or no scar, he would have to be to gay to cover up her's face while having sex. How else will he see all the glimmering, white larva crawling across her face when he's done?

- Dearly Departed in Dartford

Freedom Force on Steam!

After much whining and complaining about not being able to find Freedom Force and its sequel, the good folks at Irrational Games and Steam teamed up to bring the fan-favorite back for digital download. Now, non-stealy types can buy Freedom Force: Freedom Pack for a mere $7.49 American!

That is as close to free as this economic recession will allow - OBAMA! You know, beyond actually downloading the bloody thing from a torrent site - you know who they are and you digust the game developing companies, you dick toad!

A major problem people have when they could actually find old copies of the games are their incompatibility with some operating systems - Vista - But fear not my mangy readers, here are the system requirements -

System Requirements

OS: Windows XP/Vista
Processor: 600 MHz or faster Intel Pentium III or AMD Athlon processor
Memory: 128 MB or more RAM
Graphics: 32 MB or greater supported Direct3D capable video card with DirectX 8.1 compatible driver
Hard Drive: 570 MB or more free hard disk space plus space for saved games
Sound: Environmental Audio capable sound card

So if you are not using a Mac or say I call them Cunt Magnets, you should be in the clear.

To download these two games for less money than two joints and a bag of crisps, click here.

-"S" to the "P"!

PS: As someone who is not generally chipper, I certainly used a lot of fucking exclamation points in this sodding post. Oy.

Welcome /B/ack!

After 4-chan levels of AIDS on Freedom Force Resource, I decided to come back! Mostly because I was tired of masturbating to in-game shots of Eve -I'll show her a "Living Arrow" AMIRITE?- and there has actually been some Freedom Force news. The biggest being the re-release of the games on Steam. So I put down the canister of Energy-X - frankly because it turned my prick into a giant monster... Not that I'm complaining- and logged my slaphappy arse back into this bish!

Then I realized no one and their mother remembers or gives two tugs of a J. Edgar Hoover's prick who I am and I cried over at /B/. After about a hour I realized all the /b/tards were tossing off with my Energy-X in-fused tears. Jokes on them though, those tears were from my lower head.

Now I am typing this blog post in hopes that someone other than my mum and her girlfriend read this and that I can get this lethargic horse up and running again. If I don't he'll be made into fucking glue and served in Cambodian restaurants State-side.

So what do you say non-existent Freedom Force Resources fans? Will you accept the mysteriously curious Spectre Lad back into your pitiful world of content-haves and content-make-nots? On the subject of Freedom Force content, will one of you talented yet non-elitist content makers fire up your stolen copy of Photoshop and make me a bloody avatar? Frankly, I'm tired of swagger jacking Tombstone and I want my own underwear pervert. So what do you say? Any takers?

Your lovable pal,

Spectre Lad

PS: You fanny packs better not start no shit or this place will recede back into fucking 4-chan. Do I make my self clear?

Pool's Closed.

Due to the 4-chan level of AIDS, I regrettably have to inform you that the pool's closed.

Pool's Closed. Due to AIDS. This is for your protection.

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Identity Crisis: Emperous Revealed

I promised a big announcement and here is it:

Poppin' on the scene with skills to pay the bills, Emperous showed the Freedom Force community he meant business when he started skinning the Frank Quietly costume designs for the X-Men. Drawing inspiration from Quietly's style as well as the style of other artist he skinned and skoped Emma Frost, Jean Grey, Xorn, Wolverine, and Cyclops. Vowing to finish off the team with Beast, Emperous faded into the ether as quickly as he emerged from it. After contacting him several times, he revealed to me not only his plan to finish up Beast and finally releasing his New X-Men skins, but who he really is - Emperous is...____________

Big Reveal Coming Soon

There will be a major reveal on Freedom Force Resource coming this week.

Please stay tuned for details.

- SL